So I started a new blog as a way of turning a new leaf. It represents my journey from one place to another, from Jamaica to the United States, from teenage to adulthood.
Sociology of Singing is about life and our desires to showcase ourselves to the world. This can happen by connecting with people and letting them know that they are heard and that they are not alone. I've always seen the phrase, "psychology of singing" but it is obvious that how we have been socialized will affect the way we sing, how we have been brought up both socially and culturally will affect the way we live our lives and our philosophy of the world. This is a continuing process in our lives, as we are, we are still becoming.
Fav Quotes
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frighten us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" -Maryanne Williamson
"Anything that has a psychology behind it has a sociology engulfing it."-Lori-Ann(IronBars)
Well, reggae music is a music created by Rasta people, and it carry earth force, people rhythm...it is a rhythm of working people, movement, a music of the masses, see? --Bob Marley
MY SONG LYRICS...
These Doors!
Chorus:
I don’t need to open up these doors
You know you already know
what is causing all these sores
The doors are just an excuse
That you use
To not get under, it makes me wonder
If you really care, and are you aware?
The feeling that is enclosed
In the envelope that I mailed to you
Supposed to be one of a few
I thought that I knew you
You couldn’t even open it
Then you bring up these doors
You already kno' what is causing these sores
Chorus 2x
Feel me!
All I want for you is
to feel me.
As much has I’ve felt you
Now it’s your turn to not watch me burn
Why you turned away, when I needed you the most
Pretend that you care
as if you’re really aware
Then you bring up these doors
as if they’re really there
Chorus 1X
All rights reserved. Lori-Ann(IronBars)
The way you look at me
Chorus Boy I like the way you look at me Don't you see that … When you call me on the phone I can't get you out of my zone See I don't want to be alone But I am when you are not around Everyone else fades away into the background Oh! Verse 1 Every time I see your face I think of how much I miss you Every time you come around I let you know how much it's hurting me I hold closely, the moments we spent together To ease all the pain creeping up on me Like a bandit in the night Chorusx1 Verse 2 See when you are gone My days seem to drag on and it's just way too long Before I see your face again My heart has a hole in it That's filling up with the rain And the sun comes out my tears Dry up and the cycle starts again Chorus x2
She Bawled
She bawled She crawled Not another, not another So she fell on her knees Begging please Held her hand out to the above -----Cried---- The way of life had lied Fell to the ground Atmosphere of no sound Sobbing, throbbing Heartfelt, sorrowful tears Down heart tears weren’t drops dripping from her cheeks They were floods and she was drowning in them Her wails echoed the whole-of-the-world They looked in her direction ----Then after---- They paid no attention A love taken away As she viewed the body of her diminished boyfriend Once so vivacious Yet now lifeless young man ----No words to say---- Only from this heart, that never moves lips Words cloaked up inside Only for looking onlookers… Who still never grasp truly the ----Words her heart say---- For she bawled, she crawled She use to tell him If you have a weapon, latter is your weakness Couldn’t find enough tears to cry So she rode a wave in the ocean To let out these bleak and black emotions To express her devotion To the man she loves She found enough tears Enough to relinquish all fears ---Jahri again.
Paradise
Oooooooh Yea yea yea Oh yea lets take a trip to Jamaica
Let us take a trip to Kingston oooooh I think it’s sad there’s so much war around the globe Look outside ourselves and see what is going on Open up our eyes and see the livity There is so many suffering today in this age People suffer in so many ways While we find ourselves fussing over minor things People are afraid to sleep at night ooooooooooooooh Why we fussing and starting a fight People can barely find any food to eat
Can barely find any clothes to wear See how it’s not so nice on the other side Why don’t we realize Minimize what we are blowing out of proportion To reach out to the needs of those around us No matter what we say and no matter what we do There will always be people living much worse than we Why don’t reach outside ourselves and know what is going on Cause like I said before paradise isn’t nice on the other side Oooooooh
I am afraid that FK's "whoredoms" would be a problem in a relationship. I'm scared because if I do enter into a relationship with him and then he reveals that whoredom side of him, I might just regret it. I really have strong feelings for him but the last thing I want is to be trying to get with a dude who behaves like a whore and on top of that can't support me anyway. What does a whore and a chi chi man have in common? Lots of girls. Whores are having sex with a lot of girls and chi chi man are friends with a lot of girls. If he's not acting like a whore he is acting like a chi chi man he has to find that niche where he fits into neither category if he wants to be in a serious relationship.
Did some more research online on bipolar disorder. I feel like an idiot. I immediately regretted making any reference to him as a whore after I did some research. Here's what I found online: Symptoms of bipolar disorder include "talking so rapidly that others can't keep up, pressured speech, impaired judgment and impulsiveness, acting recklessly without thinking about the consequences, sexual problems, sexual promiscuity, multiple sex partners,pulling away from friends or activities that were once enjoyed, anxiety, behaving impulsively and taking part in a lot of pleasurable, high-risk behaviors,endorse elevated expectations for fame, wealth, and political influence, view goal pursuit as more important to their self-worth, with bipolar spectrum disorders have been shown to endorse highly ambitious life goals, such as becoming a multimillionaire or achieving fame, they are grandiose and may have delusions (false ideas) of grandeur (greatness), poor temper control and irritability can be especially upsetting to friends and loved ones. Most people who are going through the manic phase of bipolar disorder deny that anything is wrong with them and refuse to see a medical professional." Here's a link: Tell-tale signs of Bipolar disorder
A dude with potential, more than the average could easily throw it away with one false move. The interesting thing is I have seen signs in him of some of the symptoms I've listed above in yellow highlighter. Some of the other symptoms are potential in him like sexual promiscuity. I shouldn't have said he has the potential to be a whore that may have been a bad way to put this, I should have mentioned: one false move and he may be on his way toward sexual promiscuity which is one of the many symptoms of bipolar disorder. This is another concern of mines. I remember texting him that he cares way way way more about fame than art&music. I was border-lining on right and it isn't his fault. This article talks about high expectancy for fame and lower expectations for friendship among people with bipolar disorder : Goal Setting May Predict Bipolar Manic EpisodesThis explains the mixed feelings I had concerning him was due to his behavior and his behavior is that of one with bipolar disorder, that article reminds me of him there is no doubt in my mind.
I guess I was being delusional. I realize that I was probably chasing a dude that just wasn't ready for a girl like me and I think that I am too much for him, too much for him to handle and he isn't emotionally ready for me. I was just trying to fool myself into thinking that he was. He has to be able to handle himself before embarking on anything near a serious relationship. Bipolar disorder will affect his relationships both personal and professional relationships, he has to know how that disorder is going to affect, most importantly, his personal relationships with others. It's going to affect the development of personal relationships with others and maintaining that relationship for a long enough time. I wonder if he is the best at admitting this to himself.
I think he likes easy girls because he doesn't have to put in much effort and then when he is in the hospital very sick none of those easy girls will be there for him. This is an example of him "viewing goal pursuit as more important than self-worth." him pursuing random girls that don't care about him deeply may be more important to him than his own self-worth and this is a concern of mines. Oh he was in the hospital extremely sick almost dying and after he got out he started chasing some girl that didn't care about him at all is an example of him having low self-worth. I don't think he is fully ready for me and he has to grow some more, mentally of course, not physically. I can help only if he lets me, he has to take heed unto things.
Everyone at some point in their life has to figure out who they are.
"I want a love that's for real And without that, no deal And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing..." - PCD
So Fairy (She's the best!) just sent me this inspirational poem that just gave me a considerable boost in self-confidence&self-esteem, boost is what I need every single day. What a difference a day make right? Just Beautiful!!
What makes me weak? My fears.....
What makes me whole? My God.
What keeps me standing? My faith.
What makes me compassionate? My selflessness..
What makes me honest? My integrity.
What sustains my mind? My quest for knowledge.
What teaches me all lessons? My mistakes.
What lift's my head high? My pride, not arrogance.
"I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you do, as long as you love me."
So the minute I stop writing about writing is the minute I really start writing. It's not easy to find inspiration when you don't really have a life. I have to force myself to write because I generally believe that the more you write the better you get at it and even if right now I don't believe it I have to act like I do and write. I did say this was my personal blog so I will come on here I write about things that may be of little interest to the average person. No worries, my close family members will gladly read this if I was telling them about it which I don't because they already know what's going on in my life their life, we're all connected. My dad is worried about me and my bros our current condition in some ways are much worse than if we were still in JA. I don't want to expand on this because it'll give me an even more splitting headache than what I have right now. Was watching this video by Chris Rock it's so funny when I am a bit sad I watch comedy and then I start to feel better again.
Today wasn't going so well it's just the same ole' same ole.' But I have to learn to keep my head up at all times, think positive no matter how sad, miserable I may feel. Right now I am having a sudden craving for french fries and pizza.
Wow I am so burnt out from trying to find ways to make income online, so far my efforts have not been fruitful, everything takes time I know but it seems as if I am short on time. Blogging and taking paid surveys online are my only bets, taking paid surveys online is very time consuming even though it pays. I don't think what they're paying is worth the time, maybe not yet. Blogging is fun it's something I would put a lot of time and effort into. The blogging thing is more of a trial and error endeavor. I have to just see what works for me still looking for ways in which I can network with other bloggers I guess that's possible when I join Word Press. I just found out about blogging directories so yep that one one option. I'm still going to keep this blog this will be my personal blog in which I nag and complain about things that the average reader wouldn't care to read about. But truth be told I don't nag about things in this blog anyway. Maybe I should throw this blog out there for the sake of it, you never know. I read ALOT. When I say ALOT I mean ALOT, I read 50x more than I write and I just want to get back to writing as much as I read. If I don't read I can't know what to write about so like I said in my previous entry I have to read constantly to find inspiration. It is still all too overwhelming but ah well and I am not going to see any real progress until months later which is fine because if you want to make income without working when you first start off doing something it will be rocky. And it is that rocky road that will get one to where they want to be, or ought to be. Some of the time, I just want to hide away but in the world today it wouldn't contribute to me making any progress I have to get myself known and that's basically what blogging is about or music or anything one wants to achieve in life starts with getting one's self out there on the map. People will read people will listen if they hear or read something that is of value to them they will get it cracking, unless they don't believe in themselves or some other reason. That has been the thing when it comes to chasing my dream along the way I am going to meet people that don't believe in themselves so they can't believe in another. I want to get to the people that do believe in them self do have a desire for what they do and won't have too much of an issue believing in another. I'm sure I will find away to put blogging and music together one way or another, sure I'll find a way to make it all work or connect in some way. And of course the journey is more important than the destination because the journey built you and made you into someone you could not have been without the journey itself. I am not going to make singing arithmetic 2 weeks of vocal lessons everyday and I can try out for x-factor and win or at least make it to top 5-15 if the producers don't do something to disrupt that likelihood like they did to Stacey Francis on X-factor. And no people are not going to be able go online and dig up any dirt about me because there is no dirt to be dug up. I don't know why people always want to dig up dirt about somebody I mean come on don't people have anything better to do? People out there want to see other people fall! Why because they look at some one and think that that person has it all so they want to see that person fall. No one has it all so people shouldn't just sit there and judge, get a life of your own, chase dreams of your own then you wouldn't have time to be digging things up about people so you can plot a downfall to feel better about your pathetic self. The truth is when you think you're plotting anther's downfall you are really plotting your own downfall into hell. Hee hee been using the word hell alot.
Anyway, my dad was saying to write about my personal experiences also, I'm not sure if that would interest people or what parts of my personal experiences would interest people and this is where the trial & error things would start come in. Since my sociopath mother made sure I have a lot of experience. Still wondering if I should just use this blog but WordPress is more popular and has more features, blog drive is rather lonely.
So making income is really through getting traffic towards you blog. Then there are a number of methods I could use, one of which is advertising. Of course I am not going to bombard my blog with annoying advertisements which still drive people away like FAR AWAY lol. Google ad sense is the most popular way you get paid on the basis of the amount of people that click on your page. So the focus is getting traffic through posting valuable content this is the primary focus: valuable content. I really don't have much interest in marketing, it's one of those things that I have no genuine interest in its kind of like maths I have little interest in maths or physics but I would do it to meet requirements in school. I am primarily focused on assisting others because marketing in my opinion takes the focus away from bettering people's lives, promotes greed and a capitalistic jungle, dog eat dog, human eat human jungle all erupting from the basis of there is no other word: greed. Like I state all the time focus on genuinely helping people and things will fall into place, this method is enough to suffice will bring no regrets.
